Cupcakes & Handbags

November was sailing along like a duckling on a serene lake but then I got a little cocky.

Whoops.

I had just completed a half-marathon in Monterey, California, two weeks earlier with a time of 2:05. Feeling pretty good about my health and fitness level. 2:05 is not my best time ever but only 6 minutes behind my PR. Side note: It’s torturous how I beat myself up mentally for weeks after a race for not training hard enough yet I continue do things half-ass without changing my process. (That should be my life’s tag line: Everything at half-ass effort. Oh, anyway, I’m getting off topic.)

So, Thanksgiving weekend -  my birthday – we went snowboarding. Returning to the one place on earth I’ve missed so much in the last three years I cry just stepping foot into the town’s limits. OK wait, that would be Paris and Parisians are too chic to sweat or bundle up in layers that could potentially deter those beautiful women from flaunting their perfect figures. So, OK fine, we returned to my second favorite place on earth - Vail. I was so happy to be back when on the THIRD run of the trip the universe decided to teach me a lesson about my confidence on the mountain and how it doesn’t mix well with my now decrepit, aging body.

This was the end result.

Le Cankle

Yeah.

Happy birthday to me.

2+ weeks on crutches with additional 2 weeks limping around. And months of training shot to shit b/c I got cocky. We booked the next flight home, approximately 48 hours after we arrived in Vail. Fortunately, no fracture – only endless amounts of cash spent in order to get home and get X-rays.

Yeah, so that kinda sucked. I’ve been sitting around eating cupcakes for a friggin’ month now because well, there wasn’t much else I could do. I’m full weight baring (finally) but my ankle is definitely swollen still preventing any physical activity. Mentally, this is doing nothing for my negative self-image. Though, binging on cupcakes helps in the moment.

I’m going to try to hit up a yoga class today to see how it goes.  Just as soon as I finish off this dozen box of Red Velvets….

November is here and you know what that means! Birthday month, what what!?

Yes, it is true. Soon, I will be another year closer to death. Shit is gettin’ hard to deal up in this place, y’all.

THIRTY FIVE.

Thirty-fucking-five.

Oy.

That is a number, if I dwell on it long enough, could leave me quivering in the fetal position on the floor of a Stuckey’s bathroom. Cuz, shit just has not turned out according to plan. The never-ending series of roadblocks I’ve had to navigate this last decade have been fucking monumental. To recap: a career so unfulfilling I had to pop numerous anti-depressants just to get out of bed every day only to drink 3-4 nights a week until I blacked out. (Ah, to be so young and so resilient to hangovers…) A trail of dead-end boyfriends. Watching the long, slow decline and untimely loss of my father – who FYI was the only person on the face of this earth ever to love me unconditionally. Constant confusion about exactly who I was, how to cope and what I wanted out of this life. The end result being 10 years of living in paralyzed fear and numerous bad decisions about what I thought was “best” for me — moving to the mountains, moving back home, disappearing to Europe, never-ending false starts and blowing through a shit-ton of cash. Cash,  not credit, was the only saving grace of this mess.

And yet.

Despite all this, life IS looking up. I refuse to think otherwise anymore. I’m not exactly sure where the source of all this happiness is coming from – I just don’t want it to go away. The skeptic in me is always waiting for shit to take a turn for the worse but I’ve decided this year, I’m not allowing the universe to piss on my Cheerios. Nope. Not gonna happen. I don’t give a shit what you throw at me.

This year is gonna be BIG.

I’ve got some things to check off life’s To Do List.

So, go ahead. Bring it.

Now that the heat has finally broken – and my subsequent “Reverse Seasonal Affective Disorder” (self-diagnosed) and general hating of any temperatures over 72-degrees has lifted, I’m feeling pretty damn fabulous. Optimistic, even.
I KNOW, right?

So, with all this positivity and shit, I’ve become overwhelmingly busy. This girl’s social calendar has kicked into high gear – a nice reminder of what it’s like not to be a slave to A/C. Had I actually taken a breath, this is what October has looked like:

• Fostering the world’s cutest calico kitten, helping her find her forever family and then crying for a week. Dear god, I don’t even really like cats. But Bella was awesome. So, saying goodbye was just a wee bit harder than expected.
• Seeing !!! at Emo’s. Oh, how I love that band – best booty shaking music; and I’m not ashamed to admit my dancing resembles Nic’s after a few too many Goose & Sodas.
• AIA Homes Tour - which was fucking awesome BTW. Modern home design inspires me to be a better person. Is that weird?
• Running. A lot. My next race is in less than three weeks. I ran 14.5 miles this past Saturday – which if you know anything about math, is 1.4 miles longer than my actual race. Are my coaches trying to kill me? (Yes. They are.)
• Lunching with my lady friends. Wine nights with my lady friends. Brunching with my lady friends. Bitch sessions with my lady friends. Baby showers with my lady friends. Fundraising with my lady friends. (Rinse & Repeat.)
• Pumpkin road trip.
• Chopping four inches of my hair off. THANK GOD. I love my hair right now. Sassy!
• Fighting with our apartment management company. What a giant bunch of assholes up in this place! Wait, I’m sorry, I should love the fact that, in addition to the endless piddly maintenance shit that happens on a weekly basis, we just had our second major roof leak since we moved in. Did I mention this place is BRAND-FUCKING-NEW?
• Having numerous conversations with my lawyer. (See Above.)
• Starting a business and helping another friend launch her craft business — Totally exciting stuff so keep your fingers crossed. A meeting with the city tomorrow will determine next steps. Exciting!

And just think, we still have five more days to go! Yes, life. It’s (finally) looking up!

Just a note to let y’all know, I’m not dead – just juggling multiple major life changes recently. All very good and exciting things but metamorphosis takes time people!

More updates to come to this site, more often.

I promise.

I was sitting in a yoga studio recently waiting for a class to begin when I started talking to the girl sitting next to me. We chatted about how much we love yoga and how there was a period in our lives we were obsessed about making it to practice every day. “And then, I kinda stopped. Life just happened,” I said. She grinned a knowing smile and shook her head sympathetically. Things happen, stuff gets in the way and things fall to the wayside – whether we like it or not.

I can’t continue to try and make excuses as to why I only manage to post once every three months. Really, there is no excuse. Life just happens.

I have been traveling recently – which only furthers my posting hiatus. Pretty much every month since last November, I’ve been on the go. I’m not complaining – if I had a choice, I’d live out of suitcase. Paris in November. Chicago in December. Utah in February. Whistler and San Fran in March. Canada (the other coast) in April. I’m not doing much to save the environment burning through that much jet fuel but I am keeping myself sane. Travel is my catharsis.

So much for making this “blogging thing” a ritual… October has been a busy month it seems.

Here is a quick recap of the last two weeks:

1. The Comedian came in town to do a weekend of shows at Cap City. Though I’ve seen most of his material several times already, I still find it fun that he personalizes jokes for me. I admit, it makes me feel like a celebrity. Briefly. Jason opened for Matt Sadler – which Mr. Smith and I both thought was going to be horrible based on the slow start but he made a quick recovery and I ended up in tears by the end of his set. It was a fun night – despite Mr. Smith being out $40 for two crappy appetizers and three diet cokes. Why are the prices for fried nondescript vegetables at comedy clubs so outrageous? Jezus.
2. Team Money came in town that same weekend for some craptastic jam band concert. When we went out for dinner that Friday, Mrs. Money proceeded to tell inappropriate jokes, tear her very short dress on the wicker dining seat (forcing her to walk out of the restaurant with a tablecloth wrapped around her waist) and disgust Mr. Smith with her intimate digestive details. I mean, for real. We’re friends, but we’re not that good of friends.
3. That Saturday I found myself barreling down the highway to CK’s baby shower and to catch up with friends back in H-town. That was definitely a good day. I cannot believe how much I miss that city and being (physically) close to my friends. I really do think it is the only city I’ll ever consider home. It’s the only city I’ve ever spent more than two years in as an adult since college. Other than the obvious detail of me not wanting to face reality about living here in Austin, I don’t know why I don’t move back.
4. Apple’s customer service kicks ass, takes names and bakes you cupcakes just to say thank you afterward. Swear to god. After months of frustration with a lemon of an iPhone, I walked into the Apple store and walked out with a brand new iPhone – no questions asked – in less than 15 minutes. The Apple Geniuses were fast, friendly, helpful AND spoke perfect English. Try and have that experience with a Dell. Apple has won me over for life.
5. AFF started last week – and ends tonight. The most beautiful documentary ever premiered opening night and I was fortunate enough to meet both the director and the film’s subject. There are just so many reasons why I loved this film – because of it’s stunning visual beauty and how it touched me personally. I cried through the whole thing and when I cry at a movie, you know it is good.
6. I attended a tech conference last week in an attempt to find a new job. And, while the e-marketing sessions were informative and reassured what I already know, the job hunt portion was unsuccessful. I did make a new friend at the happy hour and had several nerds hit on me during the day. Lucky me.
7. I decorated some fun-ass Halloween cookies and am narrowing down the baking options for the upcoming festive holiday.
8. The Downtown website launch party was last night. Hanging out with Mr. Smith’s co-workers makes me feel incredibly old. I was easily the oldest person in the bunch – which included the boss who is married with two kids. Lately – if I allow myself to think about it – I just feel a whole lot of worthless. So, I just try not to think about anything. Incredibly counterproductive.
9. Lastly, I voted for Barack Obama for president this week. Here in Texas, we have two weeks of early voting because of the long lines expected November 4th. I took advantage of all this excess free time and headed over to the Courthouse yesterday so my vote could be erased from the official Electoral count. Let’s face it – Texas will never turn blue so my vote is pretty much non-existent as long as I live in a Red State. I’ll admit, I still felt like I was doing something historic. When I voted for Kerry in 2004 it felt like any other day. Maybe after all the shit we have endured with Bush for the last 8 years, Americans are so desperate for something better that it feels like we can accomplish anything in this election. Obama epitomizes hope for this country. It is something we so desperately need right now. God knows I could.
   

   My vote for President Obama

The Big Picture.

Do I have a mission statement? I’m not even sure anymore.

Overall, the debate went as I expected. Clearly someone in the McCain camp spoon-fed and reprogrammed Failin’ to throw out her canned phrases and turn on her Miss Alaska “small-town-girl” charm. At one point, I remember thinking Rove must’ve changed her memory chip but, as always, she couldn’t answer a single question. Par for the course I suppose.

God help this country come November 4th.

Palin was a big Journey fan back in college.

Hello my lovely one reader (JB – I’m talking to you.)

The blog has arrived. The actual design work of the site hasn’t even begun yet but I’ll get around to it eventually. For now, you get this spiffified WordPress theme.

Thanks to Mr. Smith for setting up this up and being patient with me as I ask 5 million “why” and “what” questions.

I’m so 2001 y’all!

XO,

Me

It is on.